I have not blogged in quite some time! I’ve been doing a lot of reading, praying and soul-searching lately, and what has come from that has felt too personal to share and too difficult to express in words. I have been very happy, and sad, and grateful… everything feels heightened. I know I’ve said this before, but I feel like I’ve finally found my path. Time will tell.
I’ve been reading a lot about Feri. Its an ecstatic tradition that focuses on self-possession and direct communion with God. It’s also supposed to be an oral, initiatory tradition, which is a bit of a problem at the moment. The only teachers I’ve been able to locate are a bit too far away for me to make regular trips (gas prices = empty wallet), and they also charge quite a bit for the privilege! Which is not really unfair, in my opinion, since it’s cheaper than some art classes or even some gyms. But it does put such training well out of my reach. Even if I had the money, I would spend it on finishing college first. So for now, I’m learning what I can from books and websites, and hoping that if I keep looking a teacher will appear in due time. Perhaps if I read everything I can and practice diligently, by the time I find a teacher I will be prepared to really dig into the work with passion and discipline.
So far the work has been difficult, even harder than I thought, but even more rewarding.